Thursday, November 27, 2008

No Thanks for the Giving

I'd like to bring to light a conspiracy that no one has uncovered. It is that of the disappearing Thanksgiving holiday. Interestingly enough, the Jewish people have two types of holidays: major and minor. The major ones, as you can imagine, involve buying gifts and preparing food and lots of hoopla. The minor ones merely get a passing notice. Thanksgiving is rapidly devolving into a minor holiday in this country, which I consider a great loss.

If Thanksgiving disappears over the course of time, who will celebrate it? The Native Americans? Right. 'Cause it marks such a happy time in the history of their people. Ah--maybe that's it? Why Thanksgiving is a non-holiday? Because it's no longer politically correct?

Why do retailers skip so egregiously over the holiday? Maybe it's the lack of choices in decorations. What would retailers hang up in their windows to attract customers? Turkey feathers? And the cornucopias-- oh, the carnage! Imagine a full cornucopia hung decorously over the front door of a store. The cord breaks... the cornucopia teeters and out pours the contents... customers are beaned in the head with corn and squash and millions of acorns. Now that would make headlines.

Not to mention the limited musical selection. Shoppers would be inundated with songs about food, no matter what store they were at. And all those songs would have one word in the oft-repeated chorus: "Gobble, gobble!" Customers would lose their marbles en masse.

On second thought, maybe we'll leave the holiday as it is. A time to hang with the family or friends, spend a lot of time baking pies, and eat way too much food. Now THAT is a truly American pastime.

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